Maybe I’m the Problem:
Transforming Your Team Through Reflected Leadership
It All Begins With a Mindset Shift
Most leadership articles begin with how to “fix” your team.
This one starts with a mirror.
Because if you're here, maybe you’ve quietly asked yourself a question that only seasoned, self-aware leaders dare to consider:
“What if the problem… is me?”
It’s not a statement of blame. It’s a moment of clarity. A rare and powerful invitation into a new kind of leadership. One where transformation doesn’t start with a new strategy, but with a new level of self-awareness.
When “I’ve Tried Everything” Isn’t Working
You’ve invested in your team.
You’ve sent people to trainings.
You’ve restructured, re-org’d, communicated the vision (again).
And still, you might see:
Underperformance or low engagement
Communication breakdowns
Passive-aggressive dynamics
A lack of psychological safety
Feedback loops that go nowhere
High turnover among your most values-aligned team members
What if these patterns aren’t just about them?
What if your leadership style, your triggers, your blind spots, your unspoken expectations, is the culture?
Not intentionally, of course. But subtly. Persistently.
The Difference Between Leading and Leading Consciously
Leadership is one of the only jobs where you can be incredibly competent and still deeply reactive.
The truth is: most leaders lead from a place of habit, not reflection.
We recreate what we’ve seen. We protect our egos. We avoid discomfort. We double down on what worked in the past.
But today’s teams, especially in 2025, need something else:
Leaders who model emotional literacy, not just strategic clarity
Cultures that value feedback as much as performance
Spaces where diversity of thought isn’t just tolerated, but integrated
Reflected leadership is not soft. It’s strategic.
And it’s more efficient than reactive leadership ever was.
From Reactive to Reflective: Common Triggers That Keep Leaders Stuck
Here are some common leadership patterns that often indicate the need for reflection:
You feel impatient or resentful when team members ask “basic” questions
You pride yourself on being hands-off, but things keep slipping
You find it hard to be fully honest in performance reviews
You avoid direct conflict and call it “empowering autonomy”
You notice high turnover, especially among underrepresented employees
You silently think: “If only they were more like me…”
Sound familiar?
You’re not alone. In my work, and in my past life as a Senior HR leader at Google, I’ve seen even the most visionary leaders fall into these traps.
And I’ve been there too.
Having led high-pressure teams and sat across from thousands of professionals as a therapist and executive coach, I know that the greatest barrier to transformation is usually internal.
The Bottom-Line Impact of Self-Aware Leadership
If the idea of inner work still feels like a luxury, or a little too soft, let’s talk numbers.
Research consistently shows that:
Self-aware leaders build more resilient teams
Psychological safety directly improves innovation and performance
Low emotional intelligence in leaders is a leading cause of attrition
Unaddressed internal dynamics slow execution and waste resources
You can’t optimise culture with quarterly strategy.
You shape it with who you are. Especially when no one’s watching.
So, What’s Next?
There are three paths most leaders take after realising something isn’t working:
Push through: Business as usual. Hope things improve.
Make surface-level changes: New 360s, another values workshop, maybe a leadership book club.
Choose depth: Begin the deeper work of reflected leadership, supported by someone who’s been in your shoes and knows how to accelerate change without therapy-speak or fluff.
If you’re reading this, I know which path you’re curious about.
And I’d love to support you in making it practical, powerful, and personal.